


A door apart

by Foxy_the_Sly



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1391653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxy_the_Sly/pseuds/Foxy_the_Sly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles and chocolate cookies about the sister's relationship through a door. Mostly Anna talking and Elsa's point of view on what she hears. Not necessarily in chronological order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Elsa, why is your door locked? I had a weird dream last night, a troll kissed my hair!" Elsa heard Anna squeal this excitedly the morning after the dreaded event.

She didn't know what to feel, she was sad that she could no longer spend time with Anna and laugh about her dream together, but happy that Anna was OK, yet she was also scared that it could happen again or that something worse could happen. Her conflicted emotions stopped her from answering immediately.

"Elsa? Are you awake?"

She saw the doorknob rattle, and knew Anna was trying to get in. Elsa hugged herself, and told herself everything was going to be OK.

This time – the first time, she responded.

"I'm tired Anna. Can you let me sleep a bit more?"


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa was lonely, and sitting on her bed, when she heard her sister's tap tap tap. She smiled, and quickly ran to the door to listen to her.

"Elsa. Why won't you come out anymore?"

'If only you knew Anna…' Elsa sighed, as she listened to one of the only voices she could still hear on a regular basis. Her parents came and spoke with her, of her powers, their hopes, and her fears, as well as her studies. The servants hardly ever came by anymore, as they had been banned from her room. Anna was the one person that she wanted to talk to, but whom she could only listen to in silence.

" I don't know why I even try anymore. Are you even in there?"

'I am Anna, I'm always here and I always listen' – 'Please don't give up on me'. Elsa had thought this on so many occasions, but was always happy to hear her sister every time she came, even if she was asking these painful questions regularly.

"Please Elsa? If you are listening, can't you come out and play, like we used to?"

'I can't – not yet' Elsa was hopeful that she would conquer her power and her feelings quickly in order to avoid hurting her sister any longer, but she knew it would take time and patience.

"I know! I'll wait out here until you come out! You have to get out of your room sometimes!"

Elsa just sat against the door, breathing slowly, and listening to the sounds of Anna shuffling outside. It wasn't the first time she had threatened to do such, but Elsa was not worried.

Anna was fire, constantly moving, constantly burning energy, and constantly moving on from one thing to the next. This meant that on most occasions, she ended up sidetracked after a while of fidgeting on the floor – trying to get comfortable in order to wait – and would end up doing something else. Elsa had thought it sounded fun, the time Anna had decided to ride the bicycle indoors until she had heard the giant *CRASH* of the suit of armor. Elsa had very nearly run out of her room on that occasion, but had only stopped herself when she had heard Anna laugh.

She sat and waited and listened, as Anna spoke of her day, and tried to stick to this spot for once. Surely she would tire and move soon, but in the meantime, Elsa would enjoy this sister-time, even though Anna did not know that her sister was listening, everything Anna said was directed to her, and for that Elsa was grateful.

The next morning, their parents found them both fast asleep, each sitting with their back against the door, with one of them on either side.


	3. Chapter 3

"Elsa", Anna started, as she had been every night since the beginning of her war to get her sister out of her room, "it's my birthday soon". She seemed lost and lonely, as she leaned slowly by the door.

"Will you come out for my birthday?" On the other side of the door, Elsa held her breath. She did not know how she could answer. She had just received gloves from her father, and they seemed to help her keep her power in, but would she be able to spend the day with Anna? What horrible things could happen if she were not careful, or if her powers suddenly grew again? And so she stayed silent, unable to answer her sister's soft voice.

Anna seemed to reconsider "If you won't come out, at least give me a sign. I know it's summer right now, so a snowman Is out of the question, but just… something to know that you care, ok? Please Elsa?"

She sat by the door for a few hours before going away, back to her room.

Elsa stayed up much longer that night, thinking of a way she could signal her sister.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the morning of her birthday, Anna found a snowman made of chocolate just outside her bedroom door – it was nice and cool despite the warm temperatures so she was sure it must have just been put there. She looked around and saw no-one. Anna smiled and laughed, for she knew that – even if she couldn't see her – her sister still cared.


	4. Chapter 4

Elsa heard soft footsteps approaching the door, and almost ran to sit by it.

Her sister's voice had been getting lower over the past few days – as if she had begun talking to herself rather than to Elsa or the portraits, and Elsa wanted to hear everything.

"Elsa?" the voice was fragile, hesitant, and Elsa could imagine Anna leaning against the door and looking down at the hands she would be wringing. What did Anna look like now? Had she grown? But she was still talking so Elsa remained quiet and listened.

"I had a dream last night – I could finally see you again, and I no longer knew you… The thing is, I'm scared that could really happen. I hardly know anything about you anymore."Anna sat down, back against the door in her usual fashion as she looked up at the roof of the corridor. On the other side of the door Elsa was shocked at the similarity with her own thoughts from minutes ago.

"You see Elsa, so many things have changed since you started ignoring me" An ice shard appeared in Elsa's palm as she felt a stab of guilt "– so few habits remain, it's as if I have no choice but to let us go into separate directions. When it gets right down to it, what do I know about you? Is your favorite color still blue? What do you speak about with our parents when they come to see you? Do you even think about me at all?" 'All the time', Elsa thought, as she curled up around herself, still sticking to the door and listening. Despite the guilt and the pain, these moments were her only chance to still connect with her sister – she needed to know more about her thoughts and her daily life.

"My favorite color's green by the way, but I really like blue too. I have tried to ask mother and father on multiple occasions why you won't speak to me, they always say that you're busy and that you will come out when you're ready. When will that be Elsa?" The ice shard was thrown across the room and shattered against the bed. Never. At this rate Elsa would never be ready. She needed to make progress, but couldn't stop herself from feeling all these things.

"I feel so alone Elsa, I've even started talking to the portraits… I've also written a song about my feelings, I'll sing it to you later if you like…Just… never forget about me please? I miss you Elsa…"

'I miss you too' Elsa thought. 'Maybe I should slip Anna a note from time to time…'

And, as Anna slowly begun to sing quietly to herself, Elsa slowly drifted off into a fitful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

"Elsa" - so began yet another evening's torture, as Elsa went to the door to listen to her sister.

"I don't know why you're ignoring me, but I hope you'll stop soon, and tell me why…" Anna shook herself and changed the subject – she couldn't keep bringing this up every time – It was no use.

"Why don't I tell you a story about a duckling I saw in the castle gardens?" on the other side of the door, Elsa sat straighter, straining to hear her sister's tale. This was going to be a good night, she judged, from the way this 'conversation' was going.

"I went out to the gardens today to appreciate the joys of spring, you know, smell the fresh air and the flowers – it was all really beautiful – I wish you could have come with me… Anyhow, I came across this mother duck and her ducklings swimming down the pond, and I stopped to watch them a little. The ducklings would follow the mother duck in a straight line – it was so cute! – all the way to the edge of the pond, where she decided to get out. Now the last little duckling – I've decided to nickname him Charles from the story of Joan of arc! – anyway, he was really small, and had a little more trouble getting out of the pond than the others, but they helped him and they all waddled along on their way. Wasn't that sweet?"

Anna had wanted to share this story ever since that morning, but had waited until now, when she could not be disturbed for the chance to do so – as a result she was talking really fast, but she didn't care. She just really wanted to share this moment with Elsa.

As for Elsa, she was sitting with a small smile, wishing that her own problem – controlling her powers – were so easily solved. She was grateful for the story – it helped her realize in some ways that she was not alone. 'We all have our cross to bear', she thought 'I just hope mine doesn't become too heavy and fall onto somebody else…'

Anna stood by the door for a while more, hoping Elsa would come out, speak, and maybe share her views on the story, but nothing happened.

"Just you wait" she said, as she left to go to her room, "tomorrow I'll tell you all about Joan of Arc."


	6. Chapter 6

Anna knocked once more, five little taps as she called for Elsa.

She was bored and there was nothing to do around the castle apart from study.

Her parents were doing their duty as King and Queen of Arendelle, Kai and Gerda were painting and gardening respectively, as they tended to do in their spare time, and there was absolutely no entertainment anywhere...

"Elsa", she started to talk, and on the other side of the door, even though Anna was not aware of it, Elsa was already listening.

"I'm bored, there's nothing to do around the castle and gardens, and I'm still not allowed outside the castle grounds... Don't you just hate being cooped up like this?"

Anna did not expect a response from her elder sister, but she leaned against the door, ready to go on with her complaining, or maybe even tell a story or two - anything to get away from the terrible boredom - when she heard a sigh on the other side of the door.

Elsa did not know how to react to this statement, though she knew she couldn't react anyway. She felt a stab of annoyance as she realized that Anna could see so much more of the castle and the people in it than she could, alone, cooped up in her room day and night trying to control her powers. She sighed, trying to let go if this feeling of annoyance,as she sat back to listen to her sister.

"Elsa? Was that you? Are you listening to me?" Anna was happy she had heard that little sound as it was a connexion - of any kind with her sister. "Do you want to build a snowman? Although it isn't winter, so maybe we could just do somethig like... bike down the halls...?" she asked, trying to coax a reaction out of her sister.

This was the reason she kept coming back. Anna needed to feel the connection she had with her sister, she needed to feel physically close to her in order to know that she was not alone - and a sign, any sign, that Elsa was listening to her could feed her hopes for months.

But Elsa did not respond, and Anna decided not to push her luck.

"Well Elsa, I'm going to tell you another story then... It's a wonderful story Kai told me about a girl, and daring swordfights and a prince in disguise." and she went on to tell her story, straining her ears for signs that there was someone on the other side of the door listening to her.

Elsa sat back against the door, but did not dare utter a sound. She couldn't have her sister ask about building a snowman everyday again. She sat, and listened to the tale told by her sister.


	7. Chapter 7

Elsa had been informed by her parents that they had finally come up with an excuse to give Anna about Elsa not seeing Anna anymore.

It seemed they intended to inform Anna today that "her older sister was preparing for her future duties as the heir to the kingdom", and that she could no longer play with Anna because there was a lot of work involved.

As a result, Elsa was not surprised at the sudden, impatient tapping at her door that evening when Anna came.

"Elsa?" Anna's voice was quivering, as if she had been crying – gosh Elsa wished she would stop hurting her sister so. She hugged herself, sitting against the door as usual, while she waited for Anna to go on. To tell her how she felt about the news.

"Is it true? Am I really just a spare?"Elsa could hear the pain in Anna's voice as she voiced her thoughts. 'No Anna,' she wanted to cry, 'You're much more than that, don't let anybody make you think otherwise'.

Elsa knew their parents would never have used that term in their explanation – Anna must have come up with this idea on her own. She felt the room grow colder as she listened on.

"I'm not part of the town, not born to be queen, just somebody hopelessly in between. I know I'm nothing like you – I'm too clumsy, and I'm no scholar I admit." 'No Anna, you're so much better than that' Elsa was holding her feelings within.

"I mean… maybe I'm like an extra button on a coat or a rusty horseshoe, you know, but I want to be a button that's of use, you know. It's hard to say… Maybe I'm bad at metaphors, but I want to be part of something you know? I want to share so much and spend so much time with everyone, to have fun, to love, to care… Can't I be that girl?" Elsa strained her ears, now silently letting the tears glide down her face.

They stayed in silence for a bit. Elsa couldn't keep it in – she had to say something.

"You already are" it was a whisper, hardly loud enough to be heard – maybe Anna hadn't even heard it, but it had to be said.


	8. Chapter 8

"Elsa" ? the daily knock on Elsa's door had become a ritual such that Elsa knew what time she should sit by the door and wait.

Time was ticking, and already a couple years had passed them by with only this form of communication. In a bin by Elsa's desk, multiple pieces of paper had been thrown away. Discarded attempts to communicate with her sister without hurting her nor encouraging her and especially without speaking of Elsa's powers. Elsa had not known what she could or should say and so had given up on returning communication for now.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" Elsa knew this question was rhetorical, Anna asked it often enough that she knew not to expect a response. It was a routine and yet Elsa had to bite her tongue to avoid responding. The separation was taking its toll on her, and she could hear in the less hopeful tone of Anna's voice and in the sound of her footsteps when she passed by the door that Anna too felt it dearly.

"Time is ticking Elsa, and there is nothing to do. The doors have been closed for a long time, we have little staff, and there aren't any other kids our age. Won't you come out? Please?"

Tears ran down both sisters cheeks as they stayed on their respective sides of the door.

Elsa couldn't forgive herself for the white streak in Anna's hair, and still had strenuous control on her powers. She couldn't afford to leave the room on a whim, following her feelings. Especially as her feelings were what was making her powers worse.

Anna had known deep down that her request would be denied, but she couldn't stop herself from voicing it.

"Just tell me why, Elsa. Why have you shut me out? Why the silence? Why won't you even tell me to go away? Please Elsa, give me an answer – I need to know."

Elsa couldn't help but to let out a small response.

"I can't"

And it was true. She couldn't answer. She couldn't control her powers. She couldn't risk Anna's life. She couldn't respond and endanger either of their feelings.

What if she responded kindly, maybe even went out to play, only to ignore Anna the next day? What if something happened? What if her powers got the best of her again?

Stuck in a world of what ifs, Elsa hadn't even realized she had responded loud enough for Anna to hear. She hadn't even realized that she was crying hard nor had she realized that her room was filling with snow again. She would only realize this much later, after Anna had disappeared down the hall.

On the other side of the door, Anna heard the small response, as well as the sobs of her elder sister, and she left, vowing to wait it out until she finally had an answer to her questions. Vowing to make things right again.


	9. Chapter 9

"Elsa, I don't suppose you'll come out today?" Anna was once again at her door, and Elsa admired her tenacity. She hadn't given up yet, and even if she didn't knock for a few days in a row at times, Elsa could still hear her steps slow down for a bit outside her door. A minute passed without noise.

"It's okay, I didn't expect you to…" Elsa's heart went out to Anna. She may not have given up, but she had been forced to change tactic due to the continued silence from Elsa's side of the door. Anna continued on with today's topic – she had started telling Elsa stories or speaking of specific topics every day in hopes that one would inspire Elsa to respond or come out.

So far, she hadn't managed.

"You remember I once told you I had started talking to the portraits, right? Well I looked them up. My favourites are the painting of Joan of Arc, as well as the "swing", by Mr Fragonard."

Elsa remembered the mention of the paintings, and she had also overheard Anna talking to the paintings a couple of times as she passed by silently.

She didn't think Anna knew that Elsa had overheard – Anna probably didn't even know that Elsa sometimes left her room, at times where the castle was completely silent and she thought it would be safe. She was impressed that Anna had looked them up though – she usually never had much patience for research.

"You know, Joan of Arc, she is impressive. She came from Dom Remy in France, managed to convince people to enlist her into the war, helped boost the morale of the troops and even helped put an end to the hundred year war between England and France through her actions. I'm kind of jealous – I sometimes wish I was like that, you know? Strong and purposeful, and inspiring. I'm not. Instead, I'm just … ordinary, I'm just me."

Elsa disagreed with this description of Anna– there was nothing "ordinary" about Anna. She was stubborn, and joyful, and kind and caring. She was quite probably impossible to hate, and she believed in doing what was right.

The description of Joan of arc had left Elsa feeling a little jealous as well. Here was a woman who had accomplished so much, centuries ago and yet Elsa herself couldn't even control her own powers.

"Clumsy and awkward. Hopefully I'll grow out of it one day, and do something really worthwhile. I suppose you don't like paintings as much as I do though, so I won't bore you much longer with the portraits. What kind of art do you like? Literature, I suppose… You're forever locking yourself in the Library when you are not in your room – or maybe music, do you like music?"

Elsa smiled, thinking back to some of the music she had listened to over the years. Sometimes it helped her relax and her powers would stop acting up for the time of the song. Sometimes, it allowed her to concentrate on something else and forget about all her problems for a while.

She actually liked both music and literature, though music had the added advantage of not actually needing to touch anything to hear it. Her favourite literature was poetry, because of the rhythm of the words, and the power of the symbols. She sometimes had taken to writing some in her spare time, when she needed to let loose some feelings. Of course, she rarely let anyone read those poems – they were personal and probably revealed much of her powers and inner turmoil.

"That's it for tonight Elsa. Tomorrow I'll tell you about the swing, OK? Maybe you can answer me then." Elsa heard Anna's footsteps slowly fade away.

Elsa decided to write one poem specifically about art for her sister . . . She would pin it to her door the following day for Anna to read.


	10. Chapter 10

Anna arrived to the door gaily, thinking about all she would say about "the Swing", and all she had learned about the painter, but those thoughts all fled her mind as she arrived opposite the door to find a note pinned on the door.

She was scared at first, as she approached the door, thinking it might be a note telling her to go away or that Elsa was not in her room, but when she reached it, and read the poem, she suddenly felt much more gleeful.

Elsa had listened! Anna now had proof that her sister was on the opposite side of the door and cared enough – if not to respond vocally – at least to give a small sign of her presence.

This poem would go in her treasure box, as soon as she reached her room. For now, she was very happen.

"Elsa" she said, the happy edge coming back to her voice as she knocked her signature knock on Elsa's door.

She couldn't see that Elsa was already seated, her back against the door, waiting for her to go on, but she believed that she would be.

"Elsa! Thank you for the poem! It's very nice! Thank you Elsa!" Anna decided not to destroy this moment, not to ask to build a snowman and face the possible disappointment she would feel – especially in her current state of euphoria.

On her side of the door, Elsa smiled. It was one of the only small things she could still do for her sister.

She had thrown away multiple attempts to write, in which the snow and the sky had played a much more prominent part, and others where names of authors and composers might have befuddled her sister.

"OK, so last time, I promised you I would tell you about 'the Swing'…" And Anna spent the next couple of hours speaking of art and her favorite pictures.

Elsa sat and listened, happy to hear her enthusiastic sister be enthusiastic again.

If you were wondering on the poem itself, here it is :

ART

The wind howls yet can form music

And music can help calm the wind.

The mind thinks and can make poems

which in turn help keep the mind at bay.

What is art if not music, poetry or paintings?

Is it the joy of life dancing, singing, living?

Is it a smile on the face of a stranger or a friend?

Is it something that helps calm the soul?

Is it the sky at night or during the day?

The towns, the people, the fields?

Is it a story, told in a million ways,

of fights, and friends and swords and shields…

To me, art is a friend,

a constant reminder of those we care about.

Elsa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I am no poet, I just figured I'd try to put Elsa's feelings about all forms of art into this poem. I tried to find inspiration on the internet, but nothing really struck my fancy.
> 
> Hope you liked the prose…
> 
> Foxy the Sly


	11. Chapter 11

"Elsa?" - The knock came once again, still humming and boisterous from the euphoria Anna felt over the poem Elsa had left her a week before.

"I've been wondering, what kind of prince would you marry, later? Would he be charming, witty, and suave? Would you go for someone with rugged looks or someone handsome with sharp features?" Anna chattered on about all the different kinds of prince she had read about or seen in portraits, and what she herself would be looking for, while on the other side of the door, Elsa sat suddenly deep in thought.

Elsa did not know what she wanted in a man – she did not even know if she would ever be able to control her powers well enough to marry, and so she sat – stock still, thinking about it.

Had she met many men in her lifetime? Apart from Father and some of the male servants (all of whom were far too old for her tastes), she had never actually seen a man she could call handsome. And if she wanted to spend time with anyone, in the here and the now, only Anna came to mind.

She hadn't seen her sister in so long, hadn't played with her or spoken to her – REALLY spoken to her for so many months, years even if she let herself think about it, that her desire to spend time with her very real and present sister rather than a mythical and possibly fake prince she might someday meet in the future.

Then again, why would she need a man anyway? She didn't believe that her personal curse could be so easily broken through "true loves kiss" as the ones in fairytales were.

'Yes,' she thought 'I don't need a man'…

On the other side of the door, Anna went on.

"Someone who's available, who's there for me when I need him, a little shy and bumbling – not perfect, never perfect because then I would feel like I didn't deserve him because I'm clumsy, you know? Anyhow, that was just a thought. I will let you get back to whatever you were doing Elsa – maybe you can answer my question some other time?"

Elsa smiled, thinking she had all the time in the world.

Anna went back to her room – to draw the face of the handsome prince she was sure to marry in the future. She didn't expect an answer about Elsa's taste in men just yet – the question was out there now, and maybe she would get an answer tomorrow, maybe she would get the answer in ten years. Either way, she trusted Elsa – Elsa would have good taste in men.


End file.
